


the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you

by blackberry_jam



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Based on ‘Betty’, Canon-typical language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Skipping Class, Underage Smoking, brief mentions of underage drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26229517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackberry_jam/pseuds/blackberry_jam
Summary: “Oh, Richie Tozier?” Eddie asked, causally.Beverly nodded. “You know him?”It was Eddie’s turn to be silent. “Used to.”“Something happen?”“You could say that.” Eddie shrugged.EDIT: 15/01/21 - revision of story; proper capitalisation of the entire story and a slight revision on dialogue.
Relationships: Beverly Marsh & Eddie Kaspbrak, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 42





	the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you

**Author's Note:**

> based on ‘betty’ by taylor swift

Eddie Kaspbrak wouldn't consider himself popular. I mean, sure, he had a few close friends, but there was no way he would feel comfortable, or even want, to start up a conversation with the girl who had the locker above him.

So, when the girl who occupied the locker above his started a conversation with him, he was beyond surprised. 

It turns out that the girl with the top locker who always left the strap of her backpack hanging out the bottom so that it almost always got caught in the door of his own, name was Beverly.

Beverly with the annoying locker habits, short red hair and a jumper that Eddie was sure smelt like cigarette smoke, seemed all right, when she cheerfully shot him a “Hi,” along with a small wave.

Eddie, awkwardly, waved back. “Er, hi?”

“I’m Beverly,” she said, beaming, her necklace with a brass key flashing in the light. “Bev, to some.”

Eddie nodded, nervously running a hand through his hair. “Okay.”

Beverly looked at him as if she was waiting for something, still with a (slightly smaller, now) smile plastered on her face.

Eddie smiled, awkwardly, before turning away and leaning down to twist the dial on the lock.

There was a sigh, and a sound of metal hitting metal.

Eddie looked back up, to see Beverly leaning against the row of lockers, her gaze still on him.

“That’s when you tell me your name, weirdo.”

Eddie’s face flushed. “Oh, right, yeah, uh, I’m Eddie?”

“Nice to meet you, Eddie?” It sounded like she was teasing, but she was still smiling kindly.

Eddie laughed, slightly, getting to his knees beside his locker, the fabric of his pants against the slightly sticky floor, and digging around.

“What class do you have now?” Beverly asked, her fingers pressed tightly against her phone case -- clear, with polaroid photos, figures too small for Eddie to make out.

“History.” Eddie replied, wincing slightly.

Beverly made a gagging noise, rolling her eyes. “I have maths… wanna skip?”

Eddie froze, his hands still inside his backpack. “I’m sorry?”

“Skip class,” Beverly prompted, speaking slowly, as if she was sounding it out for a toddler. “Ditch, wag, whatever you want to call it, I have cigarettes, they don't actually taste that bad, really.” Her sentences all ran into one.

“With me?” Eddie asked, unsurely, glancing around to make sure she wasn't directing this at anyone else.

Beverly sighed. “Yes, you, Eddie.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Eddie shrugged, “Solid logic.”

Beverly nodded, somewhat proudly, “Is that a yes?”

Eddie chewed on his bottom lip, nervously. I don't think I can, my mum, if she found out--”

“So, we won't let her find out.” Beverly shrugged. “It’s Derry, there's like a million places we can go that your mum probably doesn't even know about.”

Eddie laughed, short and humourlessly, “You don't know my mum.”

Beverly grinned back, “And you don't know me.”

“That’s weirdly ominous?”

It was Beverly’s turn to laugh, as Eddie swung his locker shut and got to his feet again.

“Okay, fine.” Eddie shrugged. “Why not?”

Beverly grinned, pulling on the edge of her denim jacket before wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Fan-fuckin’-tastic!”

\--------  
Beverly didn't have a car, and neither did Eddie, so they walked out of the school gates.

It was thrilling, and yet somehow exhilarating and anxiety-inducing at the same time. It was a miracle he didn't have to reach for his inhaler.

Beverly was right, in some ways. Yes, she did know places they could sit during a school day and not have anyone ask questions, but she was also wrong. Cigarettes did taste bad.

Eddie coughed, violently, hurriedly passing the small tube back to Beverly whilst gasping for breath, Beverly watching on and laughing.

After he stopped hacking out his lungs, he turned towards her accusingly. “Fuck you, Beverly Marsh.”

Beverly threw her head back, leaning against the wooden railing of derry’s infamous Kissing Bridge, and laughing, hard.

“‘Oh, cigarettes taste good, Eddie, just try one’.” He mimicked, his throat still raw and eyes stinging. 

Beverly only shrugged, tears in her eyes as she continued to laugh.

“Not to mention the lingering health factors and concerns.” Eddie continued, pausing to stick his head through the railing and spit into the small river below, wiping at his tongue with his hand. “Oh, god.”

Beverly grinned, unreasonably proudly. “I know, I’m setting myself up for a lifetime of lung problems.”

“How is that a good thing?” Eddie cried, incredulously, wiping at his mouth as he turned back towards her.

Beverly only shrugged again, crossing her ankles --decorated with colourful odd socks, one red one blue-- as she took another drag from the cigarette.

They fell into a comfortable silence, sitting draped against the railing, their feet stacked together in a pile, the sun beaming down on them. Eddie traced his fingers through the carvings on the old wood behind him, whilst Beverly fiddled with the cigarette.

“Why did you actually want to skip with me?” eddie asked, after a moment. “We’ve never spoken before today.”

Beverly wasn't silent for a moment, before she looked up, with a small shrug (trademarked beverly marsh 2020) and smiled. “Because my other friends are lame.”

Eddie smiled, softly. “Which friends?”

She rolled her head back, looking up at the sky. “Bill, who absolutely refused to come with me, Stan and Ben, who I didn't bother asking, uh, Mike, but he doesn't even go to the school and Richie, who, for once in his life decided to actually turn up to class.”

“Oh, Richie Tozier?” Eddie asked, causally.

Beverly nodded. “You know him?”

It was Eddie’s turn to be silent. “Used to.”

“Something happen?”

“You could say that.” Eddie shrugged, turning back to the carvings. 

“What happened?” Beverly asked, snuffing out her cigarette and leaning forwards with interest. after a moment, she shook her head. “Oh, if it's personal don't worry… it's just normally they're too boring for any gossip.”

Eddie offered a small smile, but it didn't last long. “Oh, I know, really. A few years ago, three maybe? We used to be really close, like, we'd spend all day together and then visit each other's houses, you know? Well, then that summer, he kind of fell off the map, I guess. Stopped hanging around with me and spent like the entire summer break with Greta Bowie--”

Beverly interrupted with gagging noises, making Eddie smile for a second.

“--And then, yeah, things were just different, I guess.”

Beverly pouted. “That sucks, but Greta Bowie? Really? He dropped you to hang around her?”

Eddie nodded.

“Son of a bitch.” Beverly said, shaking her head.

Eddie shrugged. “Sad vent over, what about you?”

Beverly groaned. “My dad sucks.”

“Sucks how?”

“He’s-- i don't know.” She paused to sigh.

“It’s fine if you don't want to talk about it.” eddie said, quickly.

“No, it's fine.” beverly said, equally as fast. “He… i'm pretty sure he drinks, like, a lot, and then just takes it out on my mum and me.”

“Oh, god, Bev, I’m so sorry.” Eddie said.

Bev shrugged. “Not your fault.”

“Well, if it's any consolation, my mum sucks too.” 

“How sucky?”

“Kept me hopped up on fake pills sucky.”

“What?” Bev cried.

“Well as person of the year, Greta Bowie, told me, the pills I’d been taking for years, even my aspirator, was all ‘bullshit’.” Eddie explained. 

“Wait, oh my god.” Beverly said, quickly. “Were you the kid, back in middle school, who’s mom wouldn't let you do Phys-Ed?”

Eddie nodded, with a groan. “And she came in and screamed at the gym teacher.”

Bev laughed, and Eddie couldn't help but join in.

A few minutes later, Eddie glanced down at the watch on his wrist, a grim reminder of the alarms that used to blare, telling him it was time to take his pills.

“Shit, Bev, we’d better get back to school.”

Bev groaned, but obliged, getting to her feet and brushing the dirt off her black ripped jeans.

“What are you doing tonight?” Bev asked, after they’d walked in silence for a while.

“Homework, why?”

“Nerd.” Bev grinned, and Eddie fake-pouted, feigning offence. “But seriously, want to be my plus one?”

“What for?”

“... a party?”

“Is that how these things work?”

“What things?”

“Teenage parties.” Eddie said, only partially joking. “From what I’ve heard, you don't get printed out invites that say ‘you're invited!’ over the picture of a balloon.”

Bev rolled her eyes. “Well, no, but i say fuck that.”

“Beverly Marsh: smashing the patriarchy one party at a time.” Eddie grinned.

“Damn right.” Bev said, raising her hand for a high five. Eddie obliged, slapping her hand. “Seriously though, will you come?”

Eddie paused to think. “Fine.”

“We can walk there.” Bev said, cheerfully. “i’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Pick me up to… walk?”

Bev nodded, as they arrived outside the school gate, already milling with people, walking and standing around on the pavement, chatting loudly.

Eddie spotted his mum’s car, around the corner (she still insisted on picking him up after school, every single day) and sighed. “I’ve got to go.”

Bev frowned. “Okay, see you tonight! I’ll be at your place at seven.”

Eddie nodded, heading back down the pavement before freezing and throwing a last glance over his shoulder at her. “Wait, how do you know where I live?”

“I know everything!” Bev only shouted back, as she pulled her backpack further over her shoulders and disappeared into the crowd.

\--------  
Eddie did want to go to the party with Bev, his newfound friend, the only problem was convincing his mother.

His overprotective mother who still pressed a handful of pills, a rainbow of different colours, into his palm every morning, who didn't know that he put them in his mouth, right before he left, spitting them out into a tissue and tossing them in the first bin he came across. His mother, who on a typical Friday night would be watching ‘Wheel of Fortune’, shouting out her guesses and clapping herself when she got them right, a ritual Eddie had sat through too many times.

“Mummy?” he asked, after she had harassed him about his day at school. calling his mother ‘mummy’, at seventeen years of age made him feel stupid, but it would win him bonus points on the wheel of fortune that was his luck. 

“Yes, Eddie-bear?” she replied, her voice honey-sweet.

He hated that fucking nickname.

“I was wondering if I could go out tonight?”

Her brow creased with worry. “Go where, dear? With who? When would you be back? Do you have a safe way to and from?”

“Uh,” he couldn't tell her about Bev or the party, “James. From my maths study group.” He wasn't in a maths study group and he sure as hell didn't know anyone named James. “He said I could go around, and we could work on the maths assignment together. Oh, and that i could sleepover.”

Sonia Kaspbrak was silent for a moment, her eyes on the road and her fingers clutching the steering wheel in a death grip.

“I suppose so.” She said, after what seemed like an eternity. “You must take your pills, though, Eddie-bear.”

Eddie couldn't believe his good fortune. “Thanks, mummy!”

\--------  
True to her word, Bev arrived at exactly seven o’clock, dressed in the same black jeans, rips down the side (Eddie couldn't tell if they were bought that way or if she’d actually ripped them) and a deep, blood red blouse. 

His mother would have been horrified, if she’d glanced out the window, Beverly, in her rollerblades, what his mother would refer to as ‘revealing clothing’ and an unlit cigarette dangling limply from the corner of her mouth. If his mother had been looking at the window at that time, he would have been placed under house arrest.

“Edddddie!” she crowed, as she skated up the rough pavement, the loose pieces of gravel skidding or from underneath her.

As she arrived, she put out a hand to stop herself, gripping the fence.

Eddie glanced over at her. “aren't you cold?”

He was wearing a heavy sweater, that his mother had insisted on, and a pair of deep blue jeans, his backpack slung over his shoulder.

Despite it being the middle of autumn, the air at night had a cold chill.

Bev shrugged her trademarked shrug, and beamed at him. “Sometimes we have to suffer for fashion.”

Eddie snorted, and Bev pulled the lighter out of her pocket.

He glanced at it, distastefully, “Are you really going to rollerblade and smoke at the same time? doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?”

“Roller blading has no purpose.” Ben explained, solemnly, as she kicked away from the wall, eddie hurrying to catch up with her. “Why else do you think someone put wheels on shoes? my bet is they were doing drugs.”

“Did they have drugs in the middle ages?”

Bev rolled her eyes. “I don't think in the middle ages people were skating around on rollerblades.”

eddie shrugged. “It’s lucky they didn’t, or they’d probably would have considered it a cure for the plague.”

Bev laughed, loudly. “Eddie, what the fuck?”

Eddie laughed too, pulling the sleeve of his knitted sweated further down his wrists.

They walked (well, Bev rollerbladed and Eddie hurried to keep up with her), further along sometimes in the silence of the evening and sometimes talking.

“Whose party are we going to, anyway?” Eddie asked, suddenly, realising he probably should have asked earlier.

Bev swore under her breath, chewing on the end of her cigarette.

Eddie stopped, abruptly, grabbing her wrist to keep her still.

“Bev, what's going on?”

Bev smiled, a half awkward half nervous smile, around the cigarette still in her mouth.

Eddie stared at her, waiting for an answer.

“Richie’s?” Bev tried, quickly.

Eddie shook his head, violently. “No, Bev, no. I can't go, okay? I’m going to go home.”

“What? No, eddie, stay.”

Eddie shook his head, his hand reaching for the aspirator he kept in his pocket, even though he knew he didn't need it. 

“Please eddie, it’ll be good for you.”

“Has this the plot the whole time?” eddie asked, desperately. “Like, today, did you actually want to hang out with me or did Richie ask you to?”

Bev took the cigarette out of her mouth and inspected in very closely. still not meeting eddie’s eyes, she started to speak. “Yeah, I’m sorry--”

“Fuck you, Bev!” Eddie cried, jerking back from her. “And I actually thought you wanted to be my friend.” He glared at her, stuffing his hands into his pockets and turning away, back towards home.

“No, Eddie, wait--” She cried, reaching out to pull at the back of his sweater. “Just let me explain first, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Richie did ask me to see if I could get you to come tonight, I’m sorry,” Eddie shook his head, and moved to leave. “Wait, wait, but I actually liked hanging around with you today.”

Eddie stopped, and glanced back over at her.

“And I’m sorry I didn't tell you, it's just… I don't know, Richie seemed like he really wanted you here, so I just had to try and…” she sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Eddie shrugged, “Why did Richie want me to come?”

Bev shrugged, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. 

“Why didn't he ask me himself? That pussy.” Eddie continued, kicking at a loose piece of gravel. 

Bev cracked a small smile. “If you wanna go home, you can. If you still wanna go, I’ll come with you, hell, I’ll even walk you home if you want.”

“You’re a real gentleman.” Eddie remarked, only smiling slightly.

“I aim to please.” Bev said, smiling and miming the tipping of a hat.

Eddie smiled back. “Fine. Lead the way, Marsh.”

Bev smiled back, clicking her roller blades against the sidewalk. She placed the cigarette back in her mouth and pumped a fist in the air. She turned back to Eddie, teasingly, “Beat ‘cha there.” 

“Fuck you!” Eddie cheered, copying her enthusiasm and actions, making her laugh as she pushed forwards, racing after her.

\--------

Arriving up the street, to the house that Eddie knew all too well, was slightly stressful. The sidewalk out the front was packed with people, people Eddie didn't recognise, and the house seemed to pulse with music and flashing lights.

“Oh my god,” Bev remarked, as she stopped to untie her roller blades, knotting the strings together and stringing them around her neck. “Well, it's a bigger deal than i thought it would be.”

Eddie glanced over at her face, as she picked at a spot of fluff off her sock.

“Are you not wearing shoes?” Eddie asked.

Bev shrugged. “didn't bring any, no.”

“Fuck, Bev.” Eddie groaned. “There is going to be so much broken glass and shit, in there.”

Bev shrugged again. “I’ll be fine.”

Eddie nodded, distractedly.

“What’s wrong?” Bev asked, genuinely.

“I don't know if I can do this.” Eddie replied, nervously.

“Yeah, you can.” Bev flashed him a smile. “Come on, before you doubt yourself even more.”

She grabbed his sleeve and started towards the house, picking her way over the sharp rocks. 

After just stepping through the doorway, Eddie was sure he almost stepped in a pile of vomit at least twice. It didn't take long for him to lose Bev in the crowd, her flash of red hair and pale, freckled skin disappearing amongst the throng of drunk teenagers.

He tried looking for her, before eventually giving up and going to sit on the front porch, dejectedly, watching as people giggled and chatted amongst themselves in the street.

It wasn't long before he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Glancing up, he found the one person he maybe wanted to avoid, maybe wanted to see?

Richie.

Still with the dumb Hawaiian shirts over another shirt and thick coke-bottle glasses.

“Eds!” he said, dropping into the seat beside him.

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie said, on reflex.

Richie smiled at him, crooked smile and wide eyes. “You made it!”

“Yeah, thanks to you and your fucking meddling. Jesus, you couldn’t have just asked me yourself?”

Richie opened his mouth as if to speak, closed it and opened it again.

“What do you want?” Eddie asked, frustratedly.

“To talk to you?” Richie said, simply. “is that all right with you, Doctor K?”

“Fuck off.” Eddie snapped, but there wasn't really any bite behind his words.

There was a distracting thump, as a couple stumbled onto the porch, leaning against the wall and connecting their lips.

Eddie was surprised Richie didn't make a joke, instead he adjusted his glasses and gestured to the back garden.

Eddie nodded, falling into step behind him.

“Why did you switch homerooms?” Is the first thing out of richie’s mouth. “Was it because of me?”

Eddie scoffed, “Not everything is about you.”

It was because of Richie, not that he’d ever find out.

“Okay, yeah.” richie said, carefully. “Uh, so, yeah.”

“Do you actually have anything to say, Richie, or am I just going to tell you to fuck yourself and then leave?” Eddie demanded.

“Okay, sorry.” Richie said, adjusting his glasses again. “So, I wanted to apologise.”

Eddie was silent.

“It was the worst thing I’ve ever done.” richie said, quickly. “What i did to you, I mean.”

“You didn't do anything to me.” Eddie said, quickly. “You did stuff to Greta Bowie. Greta fucking Bowie! We had the I-Hate-Greta-Bowie club in middle school! You were the treasurer!

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Richie said. “But, listen to me, okay?”

“Fine, hurry it up.”

“Yes, sir.” Richie said, in something that resembled one of his off Voices. “I know that Greta told you and that you can never believe anything she says, well most times, but it was true this time--”

“Stop rambling, or I’m leaving.” Eddie warned.

“Okay, okay.” Richie said, placatingly. “But it was just a summer thing, I promise. and--” He paused to sigh. “I know I don’t know anything, because I’m only seventeen and all that jazz, but I miss you, I really do.”

Eddie nodded, thinking over his words. He shrugged, a little sheepishly. “I guess I kind of maybe miss you too.” Richie beamed. “So, does this mean that we can maybe be friends again?” “Well, I showed up at your stupid party.” Eddie said, shrugging. “That’s kind of a sign, isn't it?”

“Is it?” Richie asked.

Eddie shrugged. “I don't know, I guess that depends on how much you paid Bev.”

“What? I didn't pay her--” Richie started before frowning. “Oh, right, yeah. Uh, it was that leather jacket, you know the one with all the badges?”

Eddie scoffed. “You sold my friendship for that scummy leather jacket? The one you literally found in the Goodwill rejection?”

“Bev didn't think it was scummy.” Richie said, defensively.

“Well, Bev also wore rollerblades to your stupid fucking party, so don't blame me if I don't agree with her fashion sense.” Eddie said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, fuck you too, I guess, Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie said, smiling widely at Eddie’s complaints. “Ah, that reminds me. How is Mrs K? Missing me?”

“I will actually leave,” Eddie warned. “And then call the cops and make them shut down this little shindig.”

“Shindig?” Richie snorted, “This isn’t bingo club.”

“I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Nah, you love me to much for that.” Richie said, lazily, reaching out to grab his hand.

Eddie flushed a bright pink. If Richie noticed, he didn't say anything.

“You know when I said all that stuff about Greta and me?” Richie said, his voice unnaturally quiet as he studied Eddie’s hand.”

“Well, it was like five minutes ago.” Eddie mumbled, glancing away to hide his pink cheeks.

“And about you forgiving me and stuff?” 

“...yeah.”

Richie looked up, quickly, as if summoning the courage to do something.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I’m sorry?” eddie asked, taken by surprise.

“Fuck, sorry, never mind, doesn't matter, shit, Eddie, I’m really sorry I--”

He shut up, as Eddie took a deep breath and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer until they were almost touching. 

“Yeah, okay.” Eddie murmured, and Richie did.

Soon after, he pulled away, a sheepish grin on his face as he straighten his glasses, “I dreamt about that.”

Eddie screwed up his nose. “Ew, that's fucking creepy, man. Don’t ruin the moment.” 

“What, no!” richie cried. “It’s romantic. Besides, calling me man after we share our first kiss is the very definition of ruining the moment! ”

Eddie scoffed, “Saying ‘I dreamt about you’ is not romantic, it makes you sound like a stalker. And? Would you prefer ‘man’ or ‘scum-fuck’?”

“Mm, calling me names really gets me off, Eddie-Baby.” Richie shrugged.

Eddie rolled his eyes.

And so maybe things were different now, but they were still the same, they were still Richie and Eddie and Eddie and Richie.

And things could only get better from here.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on instagram as @black.berry_jam and tumblr @blackberryjqm
> 
> leave a comment if you enjoyed?


End file.
